How Snow Came To Fall In Texas 2007

In this instance the "out of the ordinary" weather pattern is a direct result of the global warming trend caused by George W. Bush and the cattle on his Crawford Ranch. As Al Gore explained it, the lack of rainfall throughout Texas, preceding this climactic change, resulted in below average hay production for the entire southern region. Consequently, the wicked conservative President Bush, in an attempt to save money, the very same money that he received from his evil cronies at Halliburton in exchange for Iraqi blood, resorted to teaching his cattle to gulp mouthfuls of air so to fill their starving bellies and defer the dreadful hunger pains until beneficial rainfall would come. As a result, millions of little methane fart bubbles were created inside of the hungering cattle and the precarious first steps of what would cause snowfall in Texas on Easter weekend 2007, were taken. For months the cattle’s methane flatulent stale stink hung over Crawford and the surrounding countryside. As the horrid gasses ascended into the fragile atmosphere methane poopie ice crystals started to form. The abnormal ice crystals had the ability to convert normal ice crystals into evil misshapen stinky conservative methane snow crystals. The great conservative conspiracy had started and there was no stopping the enormous evil stinky conservative methane snow crystals from enveloping the entire sky over Crawford, then Texas, then the entire world… ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (evil laugh). All was thought to be lost,until wait, what is that, what is that sound, it sounds like a tweet tweet, tweet tweet, peeter peeter, hiccup cough, oooh, thank God or Allah or Buda or Jehovah or any other divinity whom you may worship or if you are Atheist we are heart fully sorrow for having offend you by the aforementioned deities, it is Al Gore coming to the rescue. As he stepped out of his pink rice burning hybrid Volkswagen a single tear streamed down his face and fell, but before it hit the ground it was sucked up into the sky, into the greedy evil stinky conservative methane snow cloud attempting to vacuum and convert all precious liquids into evil stinky conservative methane snow. However, because the tear was pure and released from a pure eye as a result of heartfelt suffering from seeing the harmful effects of conservative evil greed, the tear was able to stop the evil stinky conservative methane snow cloud and force it to fall back to mother earth harmlessly somewhere north of Huntsville. The End.